Self-management Techniques

Managing self is most important aspect for achieving success. Use below techniques to manage your reactions.
Positive self-talk
Positive self-talk is useful for counteracting internal triggers, such as a tendency to dwell on negative thoughts. You can use gentle, kind words to reassure yourself, and to counteract negative thought patterns such as these:

  • All-or-nothing thoughts
    Where you see a situation as a complete failure if it's less than perfect. A symptom is using "always" and "never" statements.
  • "Should" statements
    Where you plague yourself with guilt-laden, backward-looking thoughts.
  • Personalization and blame
    Where you unfairly blame yourself or others for problematic situations.

Reality check
You can give yourself a reality check. This involves stepping outside your initial emotional reaction and putting a more helpful perspective on problems. This can take various forms, depending on your emotion:

  • Reframing is useful for combating anger. This is where you try to see the situation from a different perspective.
  • Using logic is useful for combating excessive worry. You stop irrational, anxious thoughts in their tracks by being realistic and not just assuming your worst fears will actually happen.
  • Seeking other perspectives is useful for combating sadness and grief. You try to see the situation in a new, more positive light by, for example, asking yourself what you gained from the disappointment or loss.

Change of scenery or task
It's important for your mental and physical well-being that you have a balance of exciting and calming activities. Variety helps to combat stress and prevents emotional breakdowns. Some emotions require specific types of activities to combat them.
Anger calls for soothing, calming activities, while sadness calls for more energetic ones. For example, you could

  • see a funny movie or read an inspiring book
  • spend time with a friend who makes you laugh
  • get some exercise by going dancing, playing sports, or going for a stroll
  • spend time in an area of natural beauty
  • listen to music
  • take up a hobby, or
  • do something creative

Disclosure
When someone has upset you, it can help to get your feelings out in the open rather than trying to suppress them. However, you should be careful how you go about doing this so that you don't say anything you'll later regret. Keep the following tips in mind:

  • If you feel angry, allow yourself a cooling-off period so you can be clear-headed when you talk to the other person.
  • Create a letter detailing your grievances, but don't send it. Simply expressing how you feel can bring a feeling of release.
  • Role-play the event with a friend to find out how you could handle it when the time comes.
  • Don't delve too deeply into your emotions when you talk to the other person. This might be inappropriate in the workplace.

Use of humor
Laughter can help to drive away negative emotions like anxiety, sadness, or anger. But beware of using humor inappropriately, which can make things worse.
Appropriate humor

  • lightens the mood
  • doesn't offend anyone
  • puts things in perspective
  • helps you weather bad situations
  • connects people
  • strengthens relationships, and
  • smoothes over differences

Inappropriate humor

  • belittles or ridicules other people
  • is cynical, biting, aggressive, or sarcastic
  • is used to cover up true feelings
  • creates rifts between people, and
  • weakens relationships

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