Etiquette of office romances

Office romances have become a fact of office life in the contemporary business world. With more women in the work force than ever before, and with co-workers sharing the same space 8, 10, or 12 hours a day, mutual attractions are bound to develop. If you find yourself in a romantic situation you can't resist, you should be aware of some common-sense yet oft-violated rules. Details about the etiquette of office romances are provided here.

Starting a relationship with someone from the office

The first step in any romance can be tricky, but it's much more complicated when the person who is the object of your affection works in the same office with you. You'd like to ask the other person out, and there's no policy at your company that forbids co-worker dating, yet you're unsure of how to proceed. Would discreet flirting, just to get a feel for the situation, be tacky? What about a more direct approach?

It's best to put off any move until you know the person. Once you do, it may be possible to predict the person's response, which could save both of you some discomfort. But if you get a good feeling about the situation, go ahead and invite him or her out for lunch.

If the person you're interested in flirts with you or seems open to such advancements, it's acceptable to flirt. Just make sure it's done discreetly. But if your attempt is met with a cold shoulder, get the clue and drop the matter altogether.

One key word to respect after you've asked a co-worker for a date is "No." This means no more asking, no more hanging around the other person's cubicle, no more prolonged eye contact. On the other hand, if you're asked out by a co-worker who you have no interest in dating, be honest in telling that person how you feel without being offensive. That is the best way to put an end to the situation quickly and avoid repeated requests.

Dating someone from the office

So you finally got up the nerve to ask your co-worker out for dinner, and he or she said "Yes!" And then you went out again and then another time. Now it's been several weeks or months. Work is so much more enjoyable than it used to be. You feel energized and everything seems right with the world.

However, during this period of time, you need to exercise caution and restraint. Be especially aware of how you and your partner are behaving in the office. Don't flaunt the relationship, be discreet, and behave professionally and respectfully in all office situations. Just as important, both you and your partner should ensure that your romance does not affect your ability to get your jobs done. Make an extra effort to apply yourselves to your work and to conduct yourselves in a way that demonstrates this.

When the relationship dissolves

Sadly, not all relationships work, and that includes the office romance. Now what do you do? It hurts, especially so because you must still see your former partner every day. On top of that, you might be a little angry, but don't let this affect the way you do your job. Remember that open hostilities can damage the department's atmosphere – and possibly your careers.

The best way to handle a dissolving relationship is to keep it to yourself. No doubt the thing you may want to do the most is talk about your troubles. Unfortunately, that's the last thing you should do in the office. Spare your peers the grisly details and your darker moods. Your co-workers will appreciate it and admire your forbearance. You might want to consider taking a few days off to collect yourself, especially if you're truly devastated by the situation and feel your office behavior just won't be up to par. Most of all, be civil, try to keep your relationship with your ex-partner on an even keel, and ignore discourtesies.

Despite the relaxed attitude toward office romances compared to eras past, romance in the workplace still requires a keen understanding of the proper etiquette. The last thing you want to do is alienate the people you work with. Should you find yourself in an office romance, be sure to exercise common sense and follow the rules of etiquette.