Unless you are listening to someone who is giving a speech, custom dictates that you take turns (not necessarily equal turns) talking and listening. There are a few rules of thumb when deciding whether to talk or listen.
- Never assume you should talk more.Although it's counterintuitive to many people, in leadership, customer relationship building, negotiating, and virtually every other vital business function, skilful listening is often more valuable than talking.
- You can ask.If you aren't sure whether to talk or listen, you can always ask them which they would prefer, whether they would like to talk or listen to something you are ready to say.
- Make an effort to share the floor.If you think you have been talking too much, you can make an effort to give them a turn by asking them a non-leading question, then listening attentively to their answer.
- When the conversation lags, refocus.If they aren't talking, and you don't know what to say next, but your goals for the conversation haven't been reached yet, there are two safe ways to continue. First, you can simply ask the other person what else they want to say about the topic being discussed. Second, you can propose to talk more about a relevant topic, and ask them if they want to talk with you about it.
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